An Open Letter to the Individual Parts of My 48-Year-Old Face

To my "dirty dishwater blonde" hair, 

Thank you for staying with me this long. Only a few of you have given in to the grey-er side. My friends tell me that you’re a cost-effective blessing.

To my wrinkled brow, 

I wouldn’t look like me without you.

To my disappearing eyebrows, 

Any idea how soon I can expect to be drawing you in?

To my circles under my eyes, 

I think you make me look older than I am and tired-er than I feel. Then I remember the sleepless nights with three babies, including a set of twins and one who just wanted to be held. And I remember the tears as we buried Daddy then Mama then Granny then Nana then Mok. And I remember the stress from Chuck’s 3 shoulder surgeries and Emma’s 3 jaw surgeries and Aunt Betty’s 3 week-long hospitalizations and follow-up trips to rehab in one year. Then I think, yup, you are just about the right shade of purple.

To my pug nose, 

Why, you’re just as cute as you’ve ever been!

To the 2 acne scars on the same place on either side of my face, 

Did I literally turn the other cheek?

To my large teeth, 

Sweet tea and Diet Coke--not age--have yellowed you, and that is all my fault. However, without those 2 vices in my life, I probably would have ground you to dust by now.

To the 2 little hairs that grow on the right side of my chin, 

I play with you when you need plucking, and that reminds me of Mama and the way she played with her 2 little hairs in the same place with her thumb, too.

To my mistreated skin, 

Oh, how I abused you as a teenager, and you have not paid me back with too many wrinkles and dark spots yet. Please forgive me for not sunscreening. I don’t know why I thought a sunburned face and flaky skin was so darn cute.

To my flabby neck, 

I hate your stinkin’ guts. I will have you surgically tightened and toned just as soon as financially possible. I hope to goodness that you are not in my children’s wedding pictures. 

My head shot as a contestant in the 1972 Little Miss Dothan Pageant.

My head shot as a contestant in the 2013 Mother Who Thinks She Is Funny, But She Is So Not Funny Pageant.