Don't She Look Na'trul

My sisters and I used to tease Little Granny about getting excited when somebody died, because she had a funeral to attend. Possibly, we were a bit disrespectful, but we were truthful. She loved gathering with Beloveds, especially ones she hadn’t seen in a while. She loved exercising her spiritual gift of cooking and the camaraderie of the women in the kitchen. 

Little Granny always denied loving a funeral, but I’m going to admit it: I love a funeral. 

I might have inherited the trait, because I think Daddy loved funerals, too. Every Christmas when the Dothan High School Concert Choir that he adored sang “Hallelujah Chorus,” he whispered to Mama, “I want them to sing that at my funeral.” He was simply expressing the pure joy that the experience was giving him. He had no idea that Mama would have to make such a call when he was 43 years old, but the DHS principal gave the choir permission to leave school to sing their respects to one of their favorite chaperones.

A few years later, Daddy’s parents (who had been married 72 years) died within 48 hours of each other and had a double funeral. It was a glorious celebration of life and commitment, and it was hard to be sad.

Six of Little Granny’s great-grandchildren (Phillip stayed with a sitter) sang “Amazing Grace” at her ceremony.

Chuck’s Nana worked at McDonald’s for years after she retired from Kimberly-Clark. She would steal Beanie Babies by the handful to give to her great-grandbabies and Elizabeth. They each placed one on the pillow at her visitation as the 8mm movies that she made of her grandchildren with her Brownie movie camera played on the TV in the background. She is buried with a wreath of Beanie Babies around her head.

The funniest funeral I’ve ever been to was for Dr. Wells. We gasped for breath and wiped tears of laughter from our faces that afternoon while Frank and Earl told tale after tale after tale.

Mrs. Woodall’s funeral was pretty funny, too. It was said of her that she was opinionated and often wrong—but never in doubt.

Morris wanted to sing Dr. Driggers’ signature song, “Amazing Grace, How Can It Be?” at the gentle pediatrician's funeral. He was afraid he wouldn’t make it to the end, so he prerecorded it, and we listened to it while we looked at family photos on the big screen.

I’m not sure the word funeral can be used in the description of what I attended for Becky. It was a Gala with a reception. 

Even in the gut-wrenching agony of Brittany and Shep’s funeral, there was laughter and fellowship. When the 2 doves were released at the very end, there was a glimmer of peace. I didn’t want to be anywhere else at that moment.

I’m not going to overly pontificate on this peculiarity of mine. I believe as Granny Blakeslee does in Cold Sassy Tree by Olive Ann Burns, “The dead body was sacred, it having been a house for the mind and soul, and as such it deserved proper respect. ‘A nice funeral is a sort of thank-you.’” I am fascinated by the variety of ways the family chooses to applaud the life of the Guest of Honor, who—except for Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn—doesn’t even get to be there.

Chuck wants “Amazing Grace” played on the bagpipes at the graveyard for his funeral. He says it’s the saddest sound ever, and he wants everybody to be real sad.

Personally, I want my people to party at my obsequy. I want my ashes scattered in the muddy water of the Chattahoochee River at Lake Eufaula, Alabama. (If it’s illegal, I want my Beloveds to do it anyway.) Afterwards, everyone is invited to the King’s Inn on Thomas Mill Creek for Big Doin’s. A descendant of Henry’s (I plan to be here for a while yet) is going to fry some catfish. Instead of flowers or a donation, bring a dish (homemade not store-bought). I'll be parting this world with a potluck!! Bring your quilts and lay them on the ground to recline on for the festivities, including a Gospel Guitar Pickin’. Be prepared to sing “Pow’r in the Blood,” “In the Sweet By and By,” “When the Roll Is Called Up Yonder” and, of course, “Amazing Grace.” Everyone will laugh loudly and discuss my rapier wit, stunning beauty, intuitive fashion sense, and humble spirit.

It’s gonna be a super send-off. A fine farewell.