Gee, If I Could Only Lose My Two Front Teeth

Abby lost her first tooth!

Abby lost her first tooth in kindergarten. Emma’s pearly whites were practically cemented into her perfectly pink gums. She was speechless with jealously, since Abby had slam dunked her in this milestone. Tooth Fairy showed kindness to her. As she put a Sacajawea gold dollar under Abby’s pillow, she left this note for Emma. 

 12-19-99

Dear Emma,

I am sure that your time for tooth money is coming. Be patient and obey your parents. If you are good, your teeth will fall out, and I can bring you some money, too. Be a sweet girl.

Love,

Tooth Fairy

901-386-XXXX

Oddly, Tooth Fairy had the same telephone number as Chuck’s mother. Neither 5-year-old realized this as they excitedly dialed the number for a chat. Tooth Fairy praised Abby’s accomplishment and encouraged Emma’s patience.

And the next time . . . . 

Abby lost her first top tooth!

Dear Emma,

C

U

SOON!

Love, 

Tooth Fairy

And the next . . . . 

A snaggletooth Abby!

Dear Emma,

Don’t give up and eat lots of apples!

Love, 

Tooth Fairy

Thirteen months after the first note, a desperate Emma wrote back.

January 20, 2001

Dear Tooth Farey,

I need to ceepe you besey (keep you busy). Come to visit me soon.

Love, 

Emma

It seems that’s what Tooth Fairy was waiting for all along.

Hallelujah!!!

Dear Emma, 

FINALLY!

Whew,

T.F.

She lost the first two on the bottom. The others weren’t budging. It was Abby who kept Tooth Fairy busy. Emma didn't need her services again for quite some time.

Dear Tooth Feriey,

Come back. Wer are you? I miss you. Do you miss me? Plees breg me something. Don’t come for Abby that much iny mor.

Love,
Emma

Catching up!

Dear Emma, 

It’s about time! I thought you would never lose another tooth. By Christmas all you will want is your two front teeth.

Love, 

Tooth Fairy

 

At last, a snaggletooth Emma!

Dear Santa, 

All Emma needs for Christmas is her two front teeth.

Love,

Tooth Fairy

For some reason, Tooth Fairy struggled to dispose of the precious lost teeth. She stashed them into Ziploc bags labeled with each child's name and left them in my closet to be forgotten about until 3:00 one morning in the fall of 2012, when the shelf over my hanging clothes let loose from the wall and came crashing down. 

All things work together for good, so over the course of the next week, I cleaned out and sorted and got rid of . . . and stumbled across 3 sets of baby teeth (and one of my nephew Jeremy's that he lost when he was with us one weekend). Tooth Fairy had tucked them away in an old jewelry box. 

What do you do with 61 baby teeth?  I suppose I could have found an amazing craft on Pinterest that would have immortalized them for all eternity--or until the kids moved me into an old folks home and tossed it. Instead, we sprinkled them near the hydrangea bush while we sang "Kum Bah Yah" and "The Circle of Life."

I hope a future homeowner doesn't get his backyard dug up because an assumed major crime scene is uncovered or that one of my grandchildren doesn't have to have a tooth pulled out of her barefoot. If she does, I'll tell her about when her granddaddy was in 1st grade and he came home from school and told his mama, "I have a tooth in my ear." She thought, Silly boy and ignored him for a while, but concern built in her. She decided to take him to old Dr. Wooley in Memphis, Tennessee. Dr. Wooley said, "Mrs. Conner, there's a tooth in his ear." Evidently, he lost his tooth at school, got bored, and dropped it in his ear.

Reckon Tooth Fairy takes teeth from ears? Maybe I should write her a letter and find out. I have evidence that she's a pretty good correspondent.